Dying Light
by Renchikara
Summary: [Will Of The Heart spin-off.] 'It hurts. It hurts so much. So, sometimes, I want to forget. No more nightmares. It means I can discard my memories of everything. I want to forget them dying but I don't want all the good times with them to be erased. My memories are slipping away. They were just a dying light.' Ten years before Will Of The Heart, during the final months of Lorien.


**'Sup, guys? Here's the spin-off for _Will Of The Heart_, just as promised.**

**WARNING: If you have no idea what _Will Of The Heart_ is and you've just randomly clicked on this, this story will make no sense. Whatsoever. Read _Will Of The Heart_ first.**

**The first chapter for the sequel to Will Of The Heart is almost finished, and the story will be called _Broken World. _Probably.**

**Back on Lorien, the children had different names, obviously. So, to be clear:**

**Rukia: Chika.  
Ichigo: Kazuki.  
Renji: Miki.  
****Orihime: Tomoe.**

**It is set ten years earlier to _Will Of The Heart_, through the eyes of Rukia (hence all the bold. And yes, I will continue using bold for Rukia's POV. If you're having trouble distinguishing the /AN from the actually story, remember: the /AN is the bit where it sounds like _I'm _talking, and the rest is the bit where the _character_ is talking. I hate to be condesending with you guys, but some people will probably need to hear that. If you have a problem with reading bold, then you should already know by now that I don't take that kind of crap, and you probably shouldn't be reading my stories. I mean, sheesh! You're not gonna die from it!).**

**(PS. The song is _Memories_ by Within Temptation.)**

* * *

**Dying Light**

**I can feel her soft fingers lacing through my hair, combing it gently to make it even smoother.**

**'You have beautiful hair, little star,' says my big sister, her voice filled with warmth.**

**'Mine looks like yours,' I say with a giggle, twisting around on her knee to stair up at her face.**

**'Mine's a lot messier than yours,' she laughs. 'Yours is very smooth, Chika. You look adorable.'**

**'A... adora...' I struggle with the word. 'What does that mean?'**

**'Cute.'**

**'Like bunnies?'**

**Hisana laughs again. 'Yep! Bunnies are cute, and so are you!'**

**I begin to bounce up and down excitedly, still thinking about that bunny rabbit Mama got me for today, my fourth birthday. Papa says that in this other place (a planet, I think he called it- I don't know what that means) they have bunnies too, but their bunnies are only usually grey, brown, black and white. The bunnies we have here are really colourful, and some of them like the one Mama got me can change into other animals, but I like my one best when she's a bunny.**

**'Bunny!' I call, wanting to play with it.**

**Hisana continues to brush my hair. 'Not now, Chika. We need to get you looking really smart for your first meeting with your Cêpan, okay?'**

**'She's the lady who I'm going to see a lot of, right?'**

**'That's correct. She will help you train with your powers when they finally come.'**

**'Powers? Can I zap stuff?' I ask excitedly.**

**'Maybe,' Hisana says with a smile. I know that Papa has powers like me, but Mama and Hisana don't, and neither does Hisana's husband, my big brother. Hisana says I'm a Garde like Papa but I don't really know what that means.**

**There's a knock on the door to the room Hisana and I are in and my big brother's voice says, 'I'm entering.'**

**'Hello,' Hisana says with a fond smile as her husband walks in, followed by my enemy: Miki.**

**'Hi, Chika,' he grins. He's two years older than me and a lot bigger (but I'm never going to let him know I'm jealous of how tall he is!) with red hair that he usually keeps in a pony tail. When he calls me a midget I say he has girl's hair (he doesn't like that).**

**'Go away, Miki,' I say, sticking out my tongue.**

**'Fine, then I won't say 'happy birthday'!' he says cheekily.**

**'Behave, you two,' Byakuya says.**

**Hisana gives a bright smile. 'Don't worry, Byakuya. They're just being kids. You were like that when you were little.'**

**'We're not little!' I protest.**

**'**_**You**_** are,' Miki points out.**

**I leap off Hisana's lap so I can go and hit him. He can't make me cry but I bet I can make him!**

**Hisana's arms reach out to stop me. 'Calm down, Chika. Why don't you and Miki go and play outside?'**

**'I don't want to play with her!' Miki states loudly, and Byakuya cuffs him round the head lightly. I giggle.**

* * *

**'Why are you even here?' I ask Miki.**

**He pouts. 'It's your birthday. Aren't I invited to your party?'**

**'No!' I announce. 'Kai and Ryuu and Tish and Kazuki are all coming but **_**not you!'**_

**I don't want him to come. He'll just be mean to me and call me short and pull my hair and do loads of other stuff I don't want him to do. Even now, ages before the party, I bet he's ready to start chucking the soil from the flower patches all over my brand new, light blue dress. It sounds like something Miki would do.**

**'Did you really get a Chi... Chimæ... whatever?'**

**'A Chimæra,' I say proudly, glad that I can say a word that he can't. And he's older than me! 'It's a bunny rabbit.'**

**'But it can turn into other animals too, right?'**

**'Yeah, but I like it as a bunny!'**

**'Heh heh. Bunnies are midgets, just like you,' Miki says.**

**I kick some grass up at his face. It misses and hits his chest instead, but I'm still satisfied with that. 'Why are you here, Miki?' I repeat.**

**'Byakuya brought me over,' he replies with a cheeky grin. 'He **_**is**_** my Cêpan.'**

**'You can't call him Byakuya, idiot!' I shout. 'You have to call him 'Mr Kuchiki' or 'Lord Kuchiki'! Hisana said that he's a very important person!'**

**'But he's my Cêpan-'**

**'And he's **_**my **_**big brother! You have to show him some...' I trail off, not knowing what the right word is. What word did Hisana use when I first met Byakuya, and she said that I needed to show some of it?**

**'Respect?' Miki suggests.**

**'Yeah! Respect!' I continue to kick dirt at him.**

**'Chika! Why are you defacing the lawn?!'**

**I don't know what the word 'defacing' means, but I figure it can't be a good thing.**

**Mama comes rushing out of the house through the kitchen door, entering the backyard where Miki and I are, her light blue eyes open wide in astonishment. He short white hair is just long enough to be tied up in a bun today, with a few strands dangling down the side of her face. Like me and Hisana, she has a long strand of hair falling between her eyes.**

**'Hello, Mama,' I say innocently.**

**She bends down to look me in the eyes. 'What have I told you about making our guests feel welcome?' she scolds.**

**'But it's my birthday. Can't I do what I want to do?' I ask, and Miki snorts with laughter.**

**'Come on, little star. Don't be mean to Miki.'**

**'Hey, Mama?' I say, wondering whether she'll be able to help me. 'You know that other place that people sometimes go to- the one where it takes ages to get there...?'**

**'Earth, sweetheart?'**

**'Yeah, that one. Well, you know how you said that we've always helped the people who live there because we're much smarter than they are, so sometimes our people travel there and make them smart-'**

**'We merely suggest ideas,' Mama explains. 'Over the last few centuries, humans have began to develop their technology, and the Loric have often travelled to Earth and pretended to be humans, leading them forward without them really knowing.'**

**I don't really get most of what she said, but I continue with my point.**

**'Well, anyway, Miki said we sometimes learn stuff from them as well.' I hold up my hand, ready to show her. 'He showed me this thing that they do to each other when they're angry.' I make my hand a fist, leaving the middle finger sticking up and facing her. 'What does this mean?'**

**Mama chokes, then glares at the red headed boy. 'Miki, can I have a word?'**

**Miki looks a bit nervous now. 'Uh, actually, I think I have to go now. I'll just go and tell Byakuya-'**

**'He said a word as well,' I continue, wondering whether Mama's angry with Miki (and whether she's going to do that thing with her middle finger because she is angry). 'It began with a fuh sound. And it ended with a kuh sound.'**

**'Miki.' Mama's face is going red now and her voice isn't very calm anymore.**

**Miki squeaks in terror and tears off up the lawn, heading for the house. I burst out into giggling and Mama glares at Miki's retreating figure.**

**'Mama, why do I have to look smart today? Is it 'cause it's my birthday?'**

**Mama gives a warm smile, her anger at Miki vanishing. 'When all young Garde like yourself turn four, they get to meet their Cêpans.'**

**'My… C… Cêpan?'**

**'She's the person who will help you with your powers when you get a bit older,' Mama says.**

**'And Big Brother is Miki's Cêpan?'**

**'That's right. Your Cêpan is called Shirayuki. She'll be arriving soon enough. Try not to get dirt on your dress, little star.'**

* * *

**Shirayuki is beautiful.**

**Up until now, I've always believed Mama and Hisana to be the prettiest women ever, and now I think that Shirayuki is also very pretty. She has really, really long, light violet hair and bright blue eyes. She's wearing this silky white dress and these star incrusted hair garments that look really nice on her. I'm playing with Miki and my new bunny in the garden when she arrives. Mama must have said something to Miki earlier because when he comes back he is pouting and he spends the rest of the time, sulking. We catch sight of the woman as she comes to the gate to the garden.**

**Miki shivers. 'She looks really… cold.'**

**I blink, kind of understanding what he's talking about. She reminds me of snow and ice. If she had powers, I bet she could make it snow. I really want to have powers like that- I love playing in the snow.**

**'I like her,' I whisper to Miki. 'She looks cool.'**

**'Yeah. Cool is in cold.'**

**I punch him gently, still watching as the woman opens the gate and sweeps up the path, taking in the scene with her blue eyes.**

**'Hello. Are you Chika?'**

**I nod. 'Are you my Cêpan?'**

**She smiles. 'That's right. I am Shirayuki.'**

**'Shirayuki!' greets my sister's voice. Hisana steps out the kitchen door, followed by Mama and Byakuya. Shirayuki hugs both Mama and Hisana, so they must already know each other.**

**'She's a beautiful little girl,' Shirayuki says as I walk over to them with Miki following behind me. 'She looks a lot like you, Hisana.'**

**I blush, pretty sure they're talking about me. 'When will Papa be here?'**

**Mama answers, 'When he finishes work, sweetheart. Not for a bit.'**

**'Come and greet your guest properly, Chika,' Byakuya instructs, not in a mean way, but in the way that tells me that I've got to do as I'm told. I get to my feet, leaving Miki still crouching beside the flower bed we were examining when we were looking for insects. Miki thinks he can scare me with them, but unlike all my friends who are girls, insects don't bother me.**

**Mama frowns as she takes in the sight of little patches of dirt on my nice blue dress, but she doesn't say anything. Anyway, it doesn't look as if Shirayuki minds. She's still smiling at me. I like her smile. Despite looking like a cold person, the smile is like a warm breeze.**

**She bends down and holds out her hand for me to shake. I take it and begin to swing it up and down like how I watch other children doing it, then I remember how Byakuya instructed me last night to behave for today especially, so I try to act like a grown up.**

**What would a grown up say...? 'Pleased to meet you,' I try, making eye contact with my big brother to see if I've got it right. He gives me an approving nod and I grin.**

**'The pleasure's all mine, Chika,' Shirayuki replies.**

* * *

**'… and I don't really understand much of it, but I like listening to her talk,' I tell Miki and another friend, Kazuki. Kazuki's a little bit younger than me and he's going to meet his Cêpan really soon, so Miki and I are telling him what it's like.**

**'Byakuya- I mean Mr Kuchiki- calls the funny powers we're supposed to get one day 'Legacies',' Miki explains. 'We still not old enough to get them yet, but I want them really soon!'**

**'Shirayuki talks about a thing called... spirit something...'**

**'Spirit energy?' Miki asks.**

**'Yeah, that,' I reply. 'She says that it's supposed to be another important thing that will come one day.'**

**'Do you get to train for fighting or something?' Kazuki asks.**

**'Not really,' Miki says. 'But I already know how to fight.'**

**'Me too!' I say indignantly, wanting them to know this because being small does not mean I can't fight! 'I want powers where I can turn people into bunnies!'**

**Kazuki chuckles and Miki looks sceptical. 'That's stupid,' the red head decides.**

**'No, it's not,' Kazuki decides. He reaches into his trouser pocket and pulls out a little creamy coloured lizard, which I recognise as his pet Chimæra, Kage. The lizard crawls up his arm and onto his shoulders, eventually taking hold of the bottom of Kazuki's locks, continuing to climb up until it as made a nest on top of Kazuki's orange hair.**

**'Hello, Kage,' I greet the little Chimæra. It quickly changes into a brownish songbird with a funny red chest, a type of bird I've never seen before.**

**'What's that?' I ask.**

**Kazuki leans in close so none of the other kids in the playground with us can hear what he has to say. It must be a secret!**

**'It's called a robin,' Kazuki says. 'Mama was reading me and by baby sisters a book last night and it had pictures. They don't have these sort of birds on Lorien. It's from that other place, far away.'**

**'Earth?' Miki asks, looking excited.**

**'Yeah. That's what the book was about. Kage can turn into the animals over there as well as the ones here.'**

**I'm whispering now. 'What about the animals from... the bad place?'**

**Miki and Kazuki stiffen. Since we're in the school right now, we shouldn't be talking about it. The teachers say that because we're only children, what's happening in the war doesn't concern us. But sometimes, when we're at home, we'll hear the grown ups talking about it. I know that Papa has something to do with it, which is why he always comes home late, and why sometimes he has to be away from home. And when he is away, Mama always looks really scared, like she's afraid that Papa won't come back. I don't really understand it.**

**'Why would a Chimæra want to turn into a creature from Mogadore?' Miki asks, his face actually serious (for once).**

**I shrug. 'I don't know.'**

**'I don't want him to turn into a Hollow monster,' Kazuki murmurs quietly, his brown eyes wide. 'I like him better when he's a Loric animal, or one from the other place... Earth.'**

**'Me too,' Miki says. 'And why have you brought him to school? You're not allowed to bring animals to school.'**

**'Then, why are you here?' I ask innocently, and Kazuki bursts out laughing.**

**'Kage comes with me all the time. He hides in my pocket,' Kazuki explains. 'What about your Chimæra?'**

**'Bunny stays at home with Mama.'**

**'You named her 'Bunny'?' Miki says with raised eyebrows. 'Seriously?'**

**'I like her bunny form!' I protest.**

**'You're stupid.'**

**'No, she's not!' Kazuki defends me, and I shoot him a thankful smile. 'Chika's way cooler than you!'**

**'Hurry up and kiss already, you two,' Miki yawns.**

**Ewww! Kissing's all yucky! Kazuki's my **_**friend**_**! Kissing him would be all disgusting and yucky!**

**Kazuki and I are both protesting, telling Miki that he's horrible. He just grins at us, annoying me beyond belief.**

**Boys are so weird!**

* * *

**All the grown ups are changing. They try to act the same around me so they don't scare me, but I know they're lying.**

**Whenever the news is broadcasting via the hell butterflies that flutter through peoples' windows every morning, Hisana or Mama will usually take me out the room so I don't have to hear anything. They all think that I'm too young, but I don't think four is too young. I bet I'll be able to understand, if they explain it to me.**

**Miki and Kazuki have already worked out that it's all to do with the war. We're still not allowed to talk about it in school, but we do anyway. We're good at breaking rules and not getting told off.**

**'Does Big Brother talk about the war to you?' I ask Miki as the three of us leave the school at going home time.**

**'No. He just tells me to stop daydreaming about things that don't concern me,' the six-year-old answers.**

**'My papa never talks about it,' Kazuki says. 'He still acts all playful not serious.'**

**'My mama cries a lot,' I admit. 'Papa comes home less and less.'**

**'Well that's 'cause he's fighting, isn't it?' Miki says. 'He's a Garde.'**

**I don't really understand what that means, so I just nod.**

**At the gates to the school where our mamas and papas come to collect us every day, stand three people who hardly ever come and pick us up. There's my big brother for a start, as well as Shirayuki and Kazuki's new Cêpan, Zangetsu.**

**'What are our Cêpans doing here?' Miki asks, looking really confused.**

**Shirayuki looks really serious, but her face brightens up when she sees me. 'Ah, Chika, there you are! How was school?'**

**'Boring,' Kazuki answers for me.**

**'What's going on?' Miki asks.**

**'It's an important meeting,' Byakuya says. 'The three of you have been selected for a special operation.'**

**'They're not really going to understand that, Kuchiki,' Zangetsu says.**

**'They're just kids,' Shirayuki agrees, worriedly sharing a glance with Kazuki's Cêpan.**

**'Where's Mama?' I ask.**

**Shirayuki reaches down for my hand to take in her own pale, slender fingers. 'She's at home, sweetheart. We'll see her and Hisana in a bit, okay?'**

**Her eyes are red-rimmed and her face is shiny, like it's got water on it. She's the second grown up I've ever seen cry, after Mama.**

**'Papa's coming home tonight, isn't he?' I say. 'He sent that butterfly yesterday saying that he was coming.'**

**Shirayuki doesn't answer. She pulls me into her arms, lifting me off the ground. I'd usually struggle if Mama or Hisana would pick me up, especially since it's in front of all the other kids, but Shirayuki is really sad for some reason and I don't want to upset her anymore.**

**Zangetsu does the same to Kazuki, picking him up too. If they're carrying us then we must be walking a long way to somewhere. I almost groan. I don't want to go somewhere else. I just want to go **_**home**_**.**

**Byakuya takes Miki's hand but does not carry him. Maybe it's because Miki is older than me and Kazuki, or because Byakuya is not usually the sort of person who likes giving people hugs. I don't know. I shiver. I don't like this. I don't know what's going on.**

**'Don't worry, little star,' Shirayuki whispers. 'It will all be alright...'**

* * *

**I don't pay attention to most of this meeting, and at one point I fall asleep in Shirayuki's arms. Miki and Kazuki and I are not allowed to play. We're told to stay exactly where we are because this is very important.**

**There are seven other children aside from the three of us, all with their Cêpans. Two of them are babies with a small mops of hair, but the darkness in the room means I can't see what colours they are. One of the girls, the one who next to me, bursts into tears at one point. We're all sitting on the laps of our Cêpans, sitting around a circular table in a dark room with black walls, the only light being a couple of bulbs in each corner of the room and a glowing screen in the middle that we can all see. The girl next to me has orange hair like Kazuki's, but hers is a bit darker. She's bigger than me but she looks sad and really, really scared. While the grown ups are talking about some journey (or something), our eyes make contact. She has grey eyes, shining with tears.**

**I mouth, **_**My name is Chika. What is yours?**_

**She replies, **_**I'm Tomoe.**_

**I smile at her and she smiles back. I think I've got a new friend.**

**Kazuki's two seats away on the other side of me, his eyes trailing down at his pocket, no doubt playing with his Chimæra, Kage to ease the boredom. If Zangetsu notices, he doesn't say anything. Miki's two seats away from Tomoe, looking really impatient. Byakuya's too busy talking in the serious conversation to scold Miki.**

**'… should take a year, taking the fastest powered ship. The operation has been in process for the last three months now. The ten Elders wish for exactly ten Garde children to go; these ones here,' says an important-looking man who's talking to the Cêpans. 'Life support should last for an extra six months if any problems are encountered, so the oxygen shouldn't be too big a problem during the voyage. The steering is automatic, although I am aware that Kaname here has some experience with lorelite-powered engines, should any problems arrive. The food water will obviously be recyclable, and we've already sent word ahead to Earth so the humans we can trust are aware of the mission. They should be waiting your arrival.'**

**The woman who's holding Tomoe (a pretty lady with blonde-orange hair) pipes up. 'What about protection? Surely sending only twenty Loric is a high risk? Why not send more?'**

**'The supplies on the ship will not be able to last for more than the twenty going-'**

**'But you said the oxygen will last for an additional six months,' Zangetsu interrupts. 'Doesn't that mean the ship could take at least a few more passengers? Why not grown Garde? They can protect the children until their Legacies have developed, which should still be another nine or ten years from now, even for the eldest ones.'**

**'The operation requires complete secrecy and concealment,' the man replies. 'Being undetected from the Hollows is the number one priority. It will keep you all safe until the children's powers have developed. Besides, we're keeping this operation a secret from the people of Lorien. The ship we're sending you on is the only one that could sustain twenty lives for the twelve months of the journey and an additional six months should you meet any problems. If the public were to discover this then they would all by trying to escape the planet.**

**'The Hollows are known to be developing more powerful and more destructive bombs than we could have ever anticipated, and the threat of a nuclear apocalypse has risen in possibility. As it happens, we're keeping this knowledge away from the ears of the public-'**

**'They have a right to know,' says a dark skinned woman with blonde hair, cradling one of the babies in her arms. 'This could mean the end of Lorien. The people have the right to know.'**

**'What? Tell everyone that the chance of the genocide of our people is high?'**

**'Not so loud,' an old man says, casting worried glances at me and the other kids. 'You'll scare the children.'**

**'They probably won't understand any of this anyway,' the man says. 'Half of them are asleep. Anyway, telling the people will only cause mass panic. This mission has been chosen now that we know that the possibility of extinction is higher than ever.'**

**'How high?'**

**'The regiment that entered the Prohibited Zone on Mogadore all died to get this information for us,' the man says. 'That's four hundred Garde from Regiment 4A in Section Seven, all dead.'**

**My eyes (which were beginning to close from tiredness) snap open at the sound of familiar words. 'Shirayuki?' I ask. '4A… something… seven… that's what Papa does, isn't it?'**

**Shirayuki freezes. 'Ch-Chika…'**

**'Are they talking about Papa?' I ask. 'He's still coming home tonight, right?'**

**Shirayuki's eyes are really shiny again, like she's about to continue crying. 'N-not now, little star. We'll talk about it when I take you home, okay?'**

**Around the room, the adults aren't meeting my eyes. Nobody's telling me off for interrupting, and when I lock eyes with Kazuki I can see he's just as confused as I am. But when I look at Miki, I can tell he gets it. He's older than me, so he knows what the grown ups are talking about better than I do. He looks really sad now, and Byakuya's eyebrows are knitted together, not in concentration (because otherwise they'd just be going down). They're going up, like he's sad too.**

**'What's wrong with Papa?' I ask Shirayuki.**

**Shirayuki shakes her head, closing her eyes as I watch a tear roll down her cheek. 'Later, sweetheart.'**

**The man who was speaking before seems flustered. 'Yes… well… anyway… The Elders have requested that ten children are sent to Earth, should the crisis happen. They will act as new Elders one day, uniting Lorien once more if need be.'**

**'These children are the ones who are going to replace the ten Elders?' says a man with a deep voice, to the left of me.**

**The man giving the speech nods. 'A Garde child for each Elder. Each one of the children is meant to represent of the ten Elders. They will possess the same Legacies that the Elders possess. These children have been selected by the Elders themselves. They have seen the powers that the children will one day have in their dreams, and they know that these are the correct children for the task.'**

**I don't understand any of this. It's really important, but I don't know a lot of these words yet, and I don't get why everyone looks so serious.**

**'And what about all the other children of Lorien?' the blonde woman speaks up again. She's growing angry. 'Are we to assume that we're just going to let everyone else, men, women and children, all die… and there's nothing we can do about it?'**

**'There's still a chance that we might win the war and it might not come to that-'**

**'We're losing,' says a dark skinned man a few seats away to my left. 'The leaders are getting scared, and they're trying to keep this away from the public, but people are starting to realise. The likelihood is that it will all come down to this. And if so, everyone else is going to die.'**

**The blonde woman looks disgusted. 'So twenty of us are going to leave for Earth, and we're going to leave everyone else behind to be slaughtered by the Hollows.'**

**One of the babies, the one with the lighter shade of hair, starts crying and the other one quickly joins in. The kids who were asleep start waking up and asking their Cêpans whether they can go now.**

**I want to go too. I want to see Papa. I really hope he does come home tonight, like he promised…**

* * *

_In this world you tried  
not leaving me alone behind  
there's no other way  
I'll pray to the gods: let him stay  
_

_**'I don't know what you mean...'**_

_**'Papa's not with us anymore, little star,' Mama says tearfully.**_

_**'I know. He's doing his job. But he was meant to come home tonight. He was meant to take me to the sea tomorrow, like he promised.'**_

_**Hisana sits in a chair opposite Mama and I, her shaky hand being held in Byakuya's still one reassuringly. He is sitting right next to my big sister, looking calm but sad. Hisana is crying. A lot. So are Shirayuki and Mama. I'm sitting on Mama's lap on the sofa with Shirayuki next to us.**_

_**Byakuya has taken Miki home to his family, then he has come back here to be with us. I still don't get it. Why hasn't Papa come home? He said would...**_

_**Mama strokes my head, choking back a sob. 'Your p-p-papa won't be coming b-back, sweetheart. Remember a few months ago, when Grandpa p-p-passed away? He's sleeping f-f-forever now, j-just like your p-papa is...'**_

_**I can feel tears in my eyes now. 'I can't see Papa anymore? But... b-but...'**_

_**'He's happ-p-py now,' Hisana says with a miserable smile. 'He's gone to a happy place.'**_

_**'B-b-but... wasn't he happy w-with us?'**_

_**'Of course he was, darling. But now he c-can r-r-rest...'**_

_The memories ease the pain inside  
now I know why_

**I open my eyes, the memory being chased away. That was a few weeks ago, and I still look up at the two moons each night and ask them whether they can bring Papa home to me. They must know where he is, because whenever I used to ask where Papa was, back when he was still able to come home, Mama or Hisana would point up at the sky and say he was far away, being brave.**

**I never really knew what brave meant, until they told me that I had to be brave, right after I found out the Papa was never coming home.**

_All of my memories  
keep you near  
in silent moments  
imagine you'd be here  
All of my memories  
keep you near  
the silent whispers, silent tears_

* * *

**I can't see the moons that well tonight. There's a festival going on, celebrating the fact that the two moons are on different sides of the sky, 'lying above the opposites horizons' as Hisana calls it. I didn't want to go. No one in my family argued. I don't think any of them wanted to leave the house, either. So now I'm sitting on my windowsill in my bedroom, watching the fireworks. Mama, Hisana and Byakuya are downstairs.**

**Bunny is with me, and she's in my favourite form- a bunny itself. A white rabbit, small and fluffy. I love the feeling of her fur under my fingers as I stroke her. She isn't scared by the fireworks like most animals are. I think she's actually asleep on my lap.**

**'Chika... Chika!' comes Mama's voice, and my eyes widen. She sounds terrified. Is she scared of the fireworks?**

**I pull Bunny off my lap and place her on my bed before I run over to the door. Mama is waiting for me outside at the bottom of the stairs, her light blue eyes as wide as they can be.**

**'Mama?' I ask.**

**She bursts into tears and pulls me into a hug as I reach the bottom of the stairs. I can see over her shoulder that the front door is open and Shirayuki is standing there, also looking really sad. What's going on?**

**'Chika,' Shirayuki says seriously, her eyes all shiny again like on the day when we found out that Papa wasn't coming home. 'We- we're going to have to go. You remember that important meeting I took you to a few weeks ago?'**

**'Yeah...' I remember that was the day I found out about Papa. The serious thing the grown ups were talking about while me and Miki and Kazuki and Tomoe and the other kids sat there, not understanding.**

**'Well, you and me and those other people in the room are going to go travelling somewhere, little star,' Shirayuki continues as Mama turns around so she can face my C****ê****pan, still clutching onto me in her arms.**

**'And Mama and Hisana and Big Brother?' I ask.**

**'That's right, little star,' Hisana says, emerging from the living room, also looking distressed. Why is everyone so sad? 'Byakuya's going too. You'll be travelling there with him.'**

**'But... you? And Mama?'**

**Hisana wipes the tears from her eyes and Mama sniffs quite loudly. 'N-no, Chika. We c-c-can't come.'**

**'Why can't I stay with you?' I ask them, clutching onto Mama's shirt, never wanting to let go.**

**'It'll be okay, sweetheart,' Mama whispers in my ear.**

**'We... we'll be seeing Papa!' Hisana says suddenly. 'We'll see him, okay?'**

**'I want to see him too...'**

**'No, no,' Mama says, rocking me up and down slightly. 'You're going to go on a big adventure, alright? Like the ones that you, Miki and Kazuki play all the time. Except this one isn't make-believe. We'll say hello to Papa for you, okay, little star?'**

**'Can't I see you again? Or will it be never, like with Papa?' I cry. I don't like this. At all. I don't get why I can't stay. I don't want to say goodbye to Mama and Hisana.**

**Hisana starts sobbing uncontrollably and pulls me and Mama into a hug. We stay frozen for a few seconds, and I never want these seconds to end. I want to stay with Mama and Hisana. I don't want to go.**

**A big explosion sounds, somewhere close to the house. The ground shakes a little bit. I'm terrified now. That wasn't in the sky, and it wasn't a firework.**

**'We love you, darling,' Mama says. 'You be brave, okay? You be strong.'**

**'M-M-Mama... Hisan-n-na...'**

**'You have to go now, little star,' Hisana sobs. 'You'll b-b-be fine. Shirayuki and Byakuya will b-be there on the j-j-journey.'**

**'N-no...'**

**'You promise us that you'll save Lorien one day, okay?'**

_Made me promise I'd try  
to find my way back in this life_

**'O... ok-kay... b-b-but-'**

**But Mama is already handing me over to Shirayuki and they're quickly saying goodbye to each other. She open the door, only to find Byakuya and Miki racing up the path towards us. Miki stays standing on the path and Byakuya rushes past, quickly pulling Hisana into his arms. I've never seen Big Brother looking so panicked or distraught before, and it scares me, because if he's acting like there's something wrong then everything must be very, **_**very**_** wrong.**

**'B-B-Byak-kuya...'**

**'I'll miss you,' he whispers, his voice filled with emotions I've never seen from him before. He's always so calm, but now...**

**'Come on,' Shirayuki murmurs, tears streaming down her face. Byakuya leaves the house, his hand falling out of Hisana's as the two part. He quickly takes Miki's hand and together, along with Shirayuki who is carrying me, we run off into the night.**

**'NO!' I scream, wanting to go home. I want to be on my windowsill with Bunny, or lying in bed while Hisana or Mama is reading a bedtime story to me. Anything but this! 'HISANA! **_**MAMA!'**_

**And suddenly there is an explosion so close that Shirayuki, Byakuya and Miki are thrown off their feet. Shirayuki falls, still holding onto me, and as the world swirls around me I catch sight of a burning house and a small, white shape fluttering up from the window-**

_**It's my house, **_**I realise-**

**And now I can see Hisana in the doorway, her clothes ablaze, screaming and screaming in pain-**

**And I'm screaming too, wanting to go back, to put the fire out, to help her-**

**Byakuya is cradling an unconscious Miki in his arms, staring in shock at my big sister, his **_**wife-**_

**But she's collapsing now, falling back into the burning house, and Byakuya's trying to run set off towards them but Shirayuki is crying out that we have to leave, and that she's so very, **_**very **_**sorry, but there was nothing we could do anyway as we were already having to leave them behind, and that they're already **_**gone-**_

**The light dies away from my vision and I see no more.**

* * *

_I hope there is a way  
to give me a sign you're okay  
Reminds me again  
it's worth it all  
so I can go home_

**'Come on, sweetheart. Don't cry.'**

**I blink, looking up at my guardian. The visions of my family consumed in fire from the bombs still keep me up at night, even though I've been trying to play with the other children on this one year journey. But none of them have stories like mine. I watched my sister burn before my eyes, and I've heard Shirayuki talking to the other grown ups about how much that can affect a child like me. Even so, I try to stick with the other children. I stop the blonde girl from bullying the orange-haired girl. She's my friend, but none of us have names anymore. I'm Six. The bully is Three. The orange-haired girl is Seven. The kid who always sits in the corner (also with orange-hair) looking like he's talking to himself is Four. But we played together on Lorien, even if he doesn't remember it. He was once called Kazuki. He was once my friend. But it's like that was all a dream, because none of it really matters anymore. We're all different now. He's too upset, like everyone else.**

**Shirayuki bends down, pulling me up into her arms. 'We've got about another two months till we'll arrive on Earth, and there's something I want to do so you'll be safe. Okay?'**

**'O... okay. Will my big brother be coming to?' Because my sister's husband is the only family member of mine who has lived. But he spends most of his time with that red head. The red head who was also my friend, once, whose name I don't even remember now.**

**'He is Number Nine's Cêpan, love,' Shirayuki says gently. 'We'll have to say goodbye to him for a bit. But we'll see him again one day, okay?'**

**'Okay...'**

_All of my memories  
keep you near  
in silent moments  
imagine you'd be here  
All of my memories  
keep you near  
the silent whispers, silent tears_

* * *

**'Shirayuki? Who are they?'**

**Shirayuki and I hide behind some spiky bushes, watching a scene across the road from us. There are three ordinary-looking people, a couple and a girl a tiny bit bigger than me, facing a group of Hollows. I remember them from when I was regaining consciousness from the blackout as I left my home on Lorien. They're wearing the armour they had then, as they... as they destroyed Lorien.**

**The Hollow soldiers are giving orders (I think). They finally turn and march on up the street, away from us, and Shirayuki breathes a sigh of relief which quickly turns into a gasp of surprise as she recognises the family.**

**'I know them! They're Hollows, but I remember them. I met them during the early days of the war, when they agreed to spy for us. They had a little girl around your age. That must be her.'**

**'Are they good people or mean people?' I ask her.**

**Shirayuki stands up, grasping my hand in hers so I am pulled up with her. 'We can trust them. They must have found out we were hiding around these parts.'**

**'Shi... Shirayuki?! It is you!' calls the woman, a short lady with black hair styled into a pixie cut. She holds her daughter's hand in her own, much like Shirayuki does with me.**

**'Naho! Kenji! You found us!'**

**'Luckily before _they_ did,' the man, Kenji, says. 'The Hollows still think we're their allies. We knew you had fixed a location in Karakura Town, so we came as quickly as we could. We know a human here, an old lady named Chinako Hitsugaya.'**

**The girl looks at me shyly, peering at me while she leans against her mother's leg. I look back at her, but I'm listening to what the grown ups say. I've learnt to do that, even if I don't really understand what they're talking about. I have to listen and try and concentrate now. I can't be a child anymore.**

**'… and we'll probably need somewhere to hide, or at least somewhere to keep out daughter safe,' Naho says. 'Chinako has agreed to take her in if anything happens. Chinako may be old, but she understands about the war. She is aware of what's happening, about the Hollows and the Loric.'**

**A gunshot rings through the street and Kenji collapses, his body crumpling to the ground, his brown eyes looking all empty and... without life.**

**'KENJI!' Naho screams.**

**'D... Daddy?' the little girl asks, staring at her father in disbelief.**

**Naho looks absolutely horrified, but she manages to remain calm as she looks up at the end of the street where the Hollows have returned, guns pointing at us.**

**'Traitors,' one of them hisses.**

**Shirayuki swings me up into her arms and Naho does the same to her daughter.**

**The next part is a blur. We're racing through alleyways as fast as we can, running away from the direction of the setting sun. There are no people on the streets. Maybe the gunshot scared them all indoors. I want to go indoors. I want to curl up and hide, but I'm terrified that they'll find us and we'll have to keep running.**

**Finally, Shirayuki and Naho stop, gasping for breath. We can hear them coming up behind us, and I just want to keep running now. I want all four of us to run as fast as we can, because even though there's a part of me that wants to fight them (because they're the reason my family is gone and never coming back), I'm too small, too weak. I want to be brave and strong, like Mama and Hisana told me to be when I said goodbye to them over a year ago.**

**Naho is whispering something to the girl. Her daughter is shaking her head, looking really upset.**

**'Why isn't Daddy coming? We have to go back for Daddy!'**

**'Listen, darling,' Naho says, reminding me of when Mama and Hisana were saying goodbye to me one last time, and I realise that this is what Naho is doing to to her child. A final farewell.**

**'I'll be with your Daddy, okay? You go on ahead with these people. Remember what I told you about the Loric, and how we were close to finding Number Six? This is them. We've found them, honey.' She gives a sad smile. 'You can trust them. They'll look after you. Go on now, okay. You grow up with Six, and you help protect her like a good girl.'**

**'Mommy... you and Daddy...'**

**'It's alright, pet,' Naho says, bending down to kiss her daughter's forehead. 'You go on now, okay?'**

**'What are you going to do?' Shirayuki asks.**

**Naho looks grim. 'I'm going to join Kenji. Go out with a bang, and hopefully take some of them with me.' She pulls a small, black device out of her coat pocket, a red button and a timer clearly visible. 'You need to get out of here really quickly.' She presses the button. 'You've got sixty seconds.'**

**'Naho-' Shirayuki begins.**

**'GO!'**

**And then we're running again, and there's even more of an urgency in our steps. Shirayuki is holding my hand in her left and the other girl's hand in her right.**

**'What's your name?' I ask the Hollow girl as Shirayuki pulls the two of us along. The girl keeps asking about her parents, but Shirayuki promises that it will all be okay. She tells me that a lot too. We rush down the street, knowing that the Hollow army is not far behind us. I'm so scared, so terrified of how much they'll hurt me and Shirayuki and this new little girl who might become my friend.**

**'Momo Hinamori,' the girl says, wiping the tears from her eyes. 'And you're Six, aren't you?'**

**'Yeah...'**

* * *

**Shirayuki and I are finally living in a home, not too far away from where Momo is staying with another new friend, a boy with white hair and turquoise eyes whom Momo took an immediate liking to. His name is Toshiro and he is the grandson of the old lady Kenji and Naho told us about before they left forever.**

**The Hollows haven't found us, but I don't think we're safe. I still have nightmares every night, and in my dreams I am burning just like my family is. I think of Byakuya, somewhere else in this other place we now live in (I've learnt to call it 'Earth', but sometimes I like to pretend that I'm still that same little girl I was just over a year ago, before my world broke and the light died).**

**It's so much to think about, but the memories are vivid. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I want to be able to remember my life the way it was before, back with my family and friends, but it hurts. It hurts so much.**

**So, sometimes, I want to forget.**

**And when Shirayuki finds out about all of this when she runs into my room to find me screaming from my nightmares one night, she says that she has decided that she is going to go a little bit further in order to protect me.**

**Protect. That's another key word I've learnt. Naho told Momo to protect me, and Shirayuki promised my family to protect me. Why do I need to be protected? What's so special about me? Why did I live, while my family left, never to return?**

**Why did I live, while my family _died?_**

**Die. The word I should have known all along, but it took me until recently to truly understand.**

**They all died. Lorien died.**

_Together in all these memories  
I see your smile_

* * *

**My name is not Chika anymore.**

**Shirayuki said that we should take up the name of my big brother, Kuchiki, out of respect. I don't mind. I always liked that name anyway.**

**When we first came to Japan, I was looking at the signs up and down the streets, trying to understand the characters that they use for writing. I asked Shirayuki to buy me a drawing pad when we first got here so I could sketch bunnies. I miss my Bunny.**

**I had been looking up at the signs while we sat outside a café, and I absent-mindedly copied some characters down, mixing them together to make my own word.**

**'I learnt Japanese back on Lorien, you know,' Shirayuki said, smiling down at me. 'I took a class in Modern Earth Languages. I became fluent, you know.' She peers down at what I've written. 'That says 'Rukia',' she told me. 'That's a pretty word. That would make a nice name, you know.'**

**'Can I be Rukia?' I asked.**

**She nodded and added a few more characters to it. ****朽木 ルキア****. 'Now it says, 'Rukia Kuchiki'. That can be your name. Is that alright, Rukia?'**

**I bounced up and down on my chair a bit, like I used to do on Lorien when I was a bit younger. 'I like that. Rukia Kuchiki,' I tested the name on my tongue. It felt right. I liked the sound a lot. 'Rukia Kuchiki.'**

**So, that's who I am now.**

**Chika is gone.**

**I am Number Six. Rukia Kuchiki.**

* * *

**But now, I don't know if I'll be able to remember being Six. Shirayuki has woken me up from another nightmare, stating that she'll end this for me. No more nightmares. She calls it amnesia. It means I can forget everything.**

**'You can forget it all, little star,' she tells me. 'The bad dreams will end. You can be happy.'**

**'But what about Mama and Papa and Hisana and Byakuya?'**

**She winces. 'I... I'm sorry, Rukia. I can tell you about them, give you false memories. In your dreams, bits and parts might come back to you. They won't be truly forgotten, and one day, the memories will come back. Until then, you'll do just fine.'**

**I want to forget them burning. I don't want to forget all the good times with them. I love them. Their final words are flying through my head once more, words I won't hear again for a long time.**

_**'It will be okay, sweetheart...'**_

_**'We love you, darling. You be brave, okay? You be strong...'**_

_All the memories I hold dear  
Darling you know I love you till the end of time_

**'No,' I whisper, squirming under the bed covers as Shirayuki takes my hand and places it on the lock to the Chest which she brought with her into my room.**

**'It's alright, little star.'**

**'No, I don't want this!' I cry, trying to hold onto the memories. Papa, Mama, Hisana, Byakuya. My family. I won't forget them. I won't!**

**The Chest is open now, and Shirayuki is pulling out a weird yellow crystal. I'm sobbing. I know she wants what's best for me, but this can't be what's best for me! I don't want to forget, I don't want the memories to go...**

**She presses the cystal gently against my forehead. 'Shh, sweetheart. It'll be okay in a minute. You won't even remember.'**

**No... no...**

**But as hard as I try to hold onto them, I can feel the memories slipping away like water trickling through my fingers. They're going, I'm forgetting...**

_All of my memories  
keep you near  
in silent moments  
imagine you'd be here  
All of my memories  
keep you near  
the silent whispers, silent tears_

**The light of my memories is dimming to the black void of amnesia.**

**The memories are gone now.**

_All of my memories..._

**They were just a dying light.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**End**

**.**

**.**

**.**

* * *

**Unfortunately for Rukia, although she has a rather innocent childhood, the events that take place around her cause her to mature much too quickly, which I know from personal experience can easily happen to any child that is traumatised to that extent, even ones as young as her.**

**And now I'm going to sleep for a 100 hours or so. Not all at once, don't worry. If I do this, maybe I'll actually have a chance of catching up. '^^**

**Remember to review and stuff, thanks for reading etc. and take into account that I have not read _The Revenge Of Seven_ yet, so no spoilers!**

**Bye! ^^**


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